How do you live? – Genzaburo Yoshino

It has been some years since I last wrote any reviews. I still read plenty of stuff, mostly on my phone though, when I am on the bus, rushing off to somewhere. It seemed that I would only read a book properly when I am not engaged in any full-time job. Such is my life.

This book is again a present, and I am once more grateful for the people in my life, who would from time to time send me good reads. It is a very simple book; timeless and full of little life lessons that one can easily dismiss or ponder over. Being me, I tend to stop reading after one chapter and think about how it relates to me and the value I can take away.

The first chapter starts off with the idea that as humans in the universe, we are like molecules connected to each other in one big ocean. As children, to make sense of things, we have to use ourselves as a reference point, such as distance from “my house” or “my mother’s friend“. As we grow older, we should be able to move away from “ourselves” and use generic references. Failure to do so will result in us growing into self-centered adults who will never be able to see things as a big picture.

As part of the growing up process, we get bombarded with standard notions of what we should be, and what we should not be. The next chapter reminds us to attend to things that we feel deeply in our heart, and that we should live our lives based on our own experiences and build up our own values from there. We should not simply live as a “good person” based on others’ expectations. We need to feel.

In order to feel for ourselves, we need to be hungry for knowledge, and to be curious to explore. The next chapter had me confused for a while. The concept of questioning a seemingly self-evident thing will eventually lead to something one can no longer call self-evident, is a concept that I am not familiar with. Back then, adults were not that patient with me and to be fair, they had their share of worries and concerns. I was mostly taught to accept things as they were and not to question that much. Sometimes I do wonder, how I would turn out now, if there were proper mentors in my childhood? For now, I need to make effort to be conscious and to question things deliberately. Curiosity does not really come naturally enough for me. This chapter also ties back to the first chapter about humans being connected to each other. Through the relations of production, despite being strangers, we are all connected to one worldwide network, based on the things we need and use. So really, we are never alone.

The basic connection we have in the relations of production is one that is between a producer and a consumer. Some people are both. Guilty to say, I am an expert consumer and since reading this book, I have been wondering what I can produce to give back to this network. What, and how can I contribute? Contribution can be big or small; big enough to leave its mark in history or just small to impact people around me in this lifetime. Historic names like Napoleon leave their marks as they charge right at things that are painful and difficult, break through to the other side and take pleasure in it. In the long stream of human history, how will each of us bear up? Will we simply float along lazily or swim with might to our destination? What can each of us create to bring value to human advancement?

Fear is one of the greatest emotions that make us do brave or stupid things. It is far greater than we think, and it controls us much more than we can ever imagine. For a child, an action done out of fear could lead to a lifetime of regret. I wish for all children to have a chance to redeem themselves and not lead a lifetime carrying that kind of guilt and remorse. Life is such that sometimes regret is formed in that moment of lost opportunity. You know you cannot change anything anymore once that moment has passed. What we can do is to be brave to face up to it afterwards. Easier said than done, for sure. That is why it is a brave act, one that requires plenty of courage to deal with the pain that comes with it. But it is this pain that will make us a better person, for now we know better to grab tight and hold on to “that moment”.

How does the story end? I leave it to you to find out. 🙂

Range: How Generalists Triumph in a Specialised World – David Epstein

Finally, not a classic nor an old book. This caught my attention after i read the summary from Blinkist. Love this book! It makes so much sense. Do read it if you have time.

It starts off explaining why the majority of people generally feel that one needs to be a master of “something” in order to be successful in life. Examples used to back up successful stories that originated from early specialisation include the Tiger Woods’ story. When more of such stories are shared, it is natural to feel like a loser if one does not specialise from an early age. I recall someone telling me that if you do not know what you want to do by early 20s, the outcome is set and the game is lost.

What is lacking in such success stories is the understanding of the context (environment). In the example of chess games, the environment is kind, in the sense that success can be achieved by repeating the same set of training over time to increase the probability of obtaining a similar result with more efficiency and less time used. The environment that we are exposed to these days however, is wicked rather than kind. This is where being a “jack of all trades” can come in helpful.

When one has spent a lot of time specialising in one single thing, it can backfire and stifle the learning process. Examples cited are musicians who had meddled with at least three instruments before settling down on one, are more successful than the ones sticking to the same single instrument since day one.

True learning has to be slow and tough and is very hard to prove or justify within a short time. The knowledge is stored somewhere and then it turns up useful in unexpected ways at a later time. It reminds me of effective marketing which is hardly trackable in terms of tangibles in the short term. Good results can only be seen or felt over time. Parents should read Chapter 4 and understand what is truly beneficial for their children and choose between short term results or long term benefits.

People always say “think outside the box” but how can anyone think outside the box if all your life you have been specialising in the same box? We don’t really know what we don’t know, right? Innovations are born out of applying a/an known/old knowledge in unimaginable areas. How can it be possible to crisscross ideas if one stays as a master of a single domain and knows little about other stuff? The exposure is essential. Trials and errors are necessary.

There is nothing wrong in being a master, just that it would not make sense to stay in the same path for the sake of staying. “Winners never quit and quitters never win”. One can never be a winner if there is always tendency to quit on a bad day. But what if one quits to pursue a better road? Is that really a loser? To have courage to start zero on unfamiliar ground?

In order to become better versions of ourselves, we may need to experiment with different things, drop the usual tools and step out of the box (specialisation). Never mind if the world does not understand. The learning is yours and yours alone.

One sentence of advice from this book: Don’t feel behind as all life is an experiment.

Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking – Malcolm Gladwell

A timeless book – a book that one can always read again at any time.

I must say i really like the idea of improv. It is a form of live theatre in which the plot, characters and dialogue of a game, scene or story are made up in the moment. (Doesn’t this sound like life itself?) Improv is only possible when the actors and actresses follow a set of rules, and are already well trained. Otherwise, the drama falls apart.

The point here – i think – is to be aware of your subconscious which is working very closely with prejudices that may be unknown to the conscious. It is only when one is well trained enough to admit and understand the existing prejudices, one can educate the conscious to isolate these prejudices so as not to cloud the first instinct that will lead to an incorrect judgement of the situation, or a poor decision made in the face of pressure. What i am referring to here, is the kind of impression received, reaction given, or decision made, without the luxury of time and deliberation. This is exactly what the actors and actresses in an improv need to do – react immediately without a script and keep the drama going.

There are many case studies in the book, which can get a little dry and “technical” for some, but I just BLINK more times and read them all anyway. Some case studies show that the accuracy of the first instinct at the moment – coupled with adequate training and sufficient experience – far surpasses the results of data analysis over a period of time.

To become better versions of ourselves, we could train up the first instinct so that when time is removed from the equation, we can still make the best out of the situation.

~11/03/19

 

Lemonade Revealed – Will Chluho

The pretty yellow cover caught her attention. She bought the book and mailed it to me as a Christmas present. This was how it began.

Life is sometimes strange. Things happen for a reason, or perhaps for no reason, or maybe for reasons unknown to us, yet. She got the book purely out of aesthetic value; I read the book simply out of curiosity (obligation too, perhaps?). This is how I fell in love with the book.

Definitely a literature book – this was what I had on my mind while reading the first few pages. A part of my mind was wondering where or how she found this book. This would have been a lovely corpse for me to dissect during my study; I can imagine the fun of tearing out the pages and rearranging them for different perspectives – not to be taken literally of course.

This book offers everything but confirms nothing (a line I picked up from my lecturer previously). Duality is the main theme in this book as everything has two sides to it. It all depends how you want to see it. The choice is yours, as it always has been.

I love this book, for the fact that it does paint a realistic picture, by emphasizing on aspects that are beyond our control, unlike many other inspirational books that offer the notion of “if you think you can, you can”. (Wake up.)

But rather, it encourages people to do their best, and leave the rest (to the wind). Patience and foresight are very much needed then, as immediate results may not always be as desired but could very well be the best outcome at present.

This book has plenty of rereading value as it provides endless insights (but only if you have an open mind). The main takeaway for me in this first read is that “being good is not the same as being nice”; achievable only by people with a strong heart and a firm mind.

A big thank you to her, for placing the book in my path, somehow. I will be reading it again but I can lend it to you first …

Eat, Pray, Love – Elizabeth Gilbert

I sure took my time in this book, strolling with it across the continents, taking each step like a snail that has all the time in the world. Presented to me as a gift from bestie, the book came with her wishes for me – eat, pray and love.

As the title suggests, the book is divided into three areas. The “eat” part is what I like about this book and I have a feeling this is the part which resonates with many people. Just like Shakespeare’s works, it can be taken out of context and applied to almost anyone. One can read it and relate to it as though it is one’s own story. The most important lesson from here is that we are all entitled to make our lives better, even after making decisions that appear to be wrong in general. After all, each of us is responsible for our own happiness.

However, happiness does not simply drop from the ceiling into one’s lap. One joke mentioned in the book is about this exasperated statue coming to life to ask the beggar to please buy a ticket, after the beggar kneeled and begged for months to strike lottery. If one chooses to simply watch TV all day, then the most the stars in the universe can align themselves to do, is to make sure that power supply is uninterrupted.

The “pray” part is interesting at the beginning, when there is a dramatic switch from pure indulgence to total discipline, a crossover from enjoyment to hard work. The technical details of the activities in the ashram can get a little overwhelming if one is not into yoga and meditation. But the aspect that does not appeal to me is that it is too mystical. Visions and dreams are only real when they happen to you. Hearing them from another voice is just too … unbelievable? Too many of such add up together will piece into an all-too-perfect but artificial picture. It all feels too deliberate.

As for “love” part, it is kind of boring. But maybe I am not a romantic person to start with. (Laughs.) It feels like there is nothing much to tell, and perhaps in Bali, there is really nothing interesting that is worth telling. So what are being told here are the Balinese history and culture, and some trivial stuff that does not tie in with the overall theme of the search for self. (By the way, this love story is very cliché. Not my cup of coffee, definitely.)

Would I recommend this book? Yes I would. At least, read the “eat” part. It will do anyone good. In “pray”, one can gain insight about yoga and meditation and of course it does not hurt to know more about the Balinese in “love”.

P.S – Bestie, thank you for continuing to stuff reads along my way, though I take forever to complete them. LOL~

Who Moved My Cheese – Dr. Spencer Johnson

Some people say “things happen for a reason” while some others may feel “it’s all in God’s plan”. I think of it as chance, that I stumbled upon this very old book in the library while I was looking for other books. I saw that 7 habits too, but it felt too early (rather, too thick) for a revisit. As for this cheesy book, I couldn’t – for the life of me – recall its contents, even though I know for sure that I have read the book before. That’s how reliable my memory is. Laughs.

How inspiring can a simple story about four little mice, with four different approaches to hunt for cheese in a maze be? That’s the magic. The basic purpose of language is to communicate and simplicity in language enables the story to be reached out to a wider base of readers. One could read it at surface level and dismiss it as a story of “Four Little Mice”, or one could reflect deeper and relate the underlying meaning to his or her own life.

For someone rereading this book, I find it a pleasure to be reminded not to be like Hem. Instead, one should have courage to explore dark alleys like Haw. The most satisfying part is not to sink your teeth into that delicious piece of cheese in your hands, but it is to enjoy every second of the hunting (learning) process.

Dear friends, if you have not read this (very old) book before, I would recommend you to spare that hour (yes I finished it in less than an hour) for this short journey. By the way, I believe there are a couple of links to download an electronic version and I trust that such a task is not a problem at all to any of you.    

For now, I am considering reading this to my two little hamsters so that perhaps they may learn to behave like “Sniff” and “Scurry”, and not “Scream” and “Bite”. Otherwise, no cheese!

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen R. Covey

The first time I came across this book was many years ago. A friend wanted to lend me his copy after reading but the idea somehow never materialized into action. Lately, another friend told me to read this. This time, I decided to search for the book. I am not into the habit of buying books now because I feel that the same copy is… more valuable if more people read it. For that reason, I am passing my books around too. When another friend finally borrowed an available copy from NLB and passed to me, my initial thought was “300+ pages, oh my god”. And the horrible part to me was that it looked like some kind of management or financial book. For the past three years, I had been reading either classics for literature class or when I could spare the time, a few comics for pleasure.So I started reading, somewhat reluctantly. And I am so glad that I finished the book and I really have to thank the friend for telling me to read it (no, she didn’t exactly recommend, it was more like an instruction). The language in the book is simple, the writing style direct and the examples are so precise that I could relate to them immediately. As with other self improvement books, this book offers knowledge and insights that one could apply to daily life. Although the book is structured by seven habits, these habits do not go sequentially, as most of us might be conditioned to think, given our years of mandatory education. Instead, the habits are all tied together to either to “private victory” or “public victory”.

The journey into the book starts off with a standard overview. The one thing I have learnt from this overview is the frame (or lenses) of my view, and not the angle. I have always thought that I could see things from different angles, and I still think that is true. But what I have not realized is that, I am still using the same frame to look from different angles. This frame is not something that anyone can change overnight, as it is the subconscious tendency that governs our choices and decisions. With this realization, my focus is now on my frame, rather than my angle. Of course, there is no shortcut in life. If one wants to improve myself, one needs to sweat for it.

The first three habits are tied to “private victory”. There is a common saying “the greatest enemy is yourself”, and I could not agree more. External factors can only torment us this much, and the last straw to break the camel’s back is usually served by ourselves – that is, despair. Habit one says to be proactive and the first word that came to my mind is “initiative”. Having initiative is just the basic, but rather, it means to have initiative to choose your response. At this point, I am happy to say that this is not something new to me; I just need more practice to perfect it.

Habit two is very lengthy, even though it is something that should have been very obvious. But I guess the reason for the great length is that many people do not realize that they are missing that. To begin with the end in mind requires imagination and perseverance. All great inventions begin with imagination. Without imagination, there can be no progress or improvement. After the end is visualized by imagination, perseverance becomes the next ingredient to turn this vision into action. A friend mentioned to me the concept of “baby steps”. Successful people are always taking baby steps towards their visions, while the rest of us are just walking in circles. In management terms, it would mean “to do the right thing”. It sounds very simple in black and white but how often does any of us stop to think whether this thing is a necessary (right) thing to do? Instead, many people would be engaged in thinking how to finish the thing (fire-fighting), and this leads us to the third habit.

Habit three is probably one of those habits that are already practiced by many people. To put first things first is definitely nothing new as it simply means doing the thing right. At this point, the word “priority” comes to mind and to master this habit, there are a few concepts to clarify. Firstly, “urgent” is not the same as “important”. After being in operational work for many years, these two words have tied themselves together. People yell “urgent” all the time and we rush to complete the tasks. Subconsciously, I have taken “urgent” to be “important”. But it is definitely not the case. Important things should be those that are important to me in the long run, things that I will regret not doing when I am on my deathbed. Urgent things are simply things that require immediate attention, but if one does not attend to them immediately, it does not matter that much anyway. Secondly, human interaction should have more priority than task completion, and that one should think effectiveness with humans, and efficiency with tasks. At the end of the day, we want to manage time efficiency but not at the expense of sacrificing our human relations.

The journey now moves to the area of “public victory”. This is not an area that I am focusing on right now, but nevertheless, I will touch briefly on them. Habit four says to think win/win. This will be something that sounds familiar too, only that your idea of win/win might not be my idea of win/win. At the end of the day, if each of us looks at the opposite end with our own frame, there can never be a truly win/win situation. Habit five is also something that sounds easy and many of us are likely to think that we are doing it already. But to seek first to understand, then to be understood is a skill that is very difficult to master, although it is something that anyone can start practicing now. I feel that it is only when the other party opens up to you, then you can really know that you have done it. To simply “be a good listener” in your own terms is just not sufficient, because you are dealing with another individual with his own frame, his own thoughts. It is at this point that perhaps a win/win situation is possible, when both truly seek to understand and then to be understood. Habit six is to synergize. This is something right at the end of the tunnel, where it is only possible to reach after the rest are passed. The main idea here is to acknowledge that the strength of a combination is greater than the strength of each isolated individual. If one is of the opinion that he is always better, then this will never be possible.

The last habit is to sharpen the saw. It simply means maintenance. The one to be doing all the above is yourself and this is the main asset one should invest in. Spend an hour daily to maintain yourself in four areas – mentally, spiritually, socially, and physically. I personally have a rough idea of this but it is always good to be reminded as we are all trying to squeeze everything into a day’s work. Finally, I want to conclude this by saying that all the above are simply text on an electronic screen, and that a book is nothing but just printed words on pages that are bonded together, it is up to the individual to “open the gate of change” as change has to come from within.

(06-Sep-2013)